I have always believed that what you talk about, either to yourself (privately or out loud, as I do all the time, sometimes people have to tell me to shut the hell up!) or to others bring more of whatever you are speaking of into your life. If you are speaking negatively about someone in your mind or to others you won’t get on with that person. From personal experience I can say this is not good. It hurts more people than just the two people involved. If you are speaking negatively about anything, you are inviting more negative things into your life to complain about, but if you cut it off at the source you will be happier. There are so many things to complain about in this life, I know it’s hard to just stop. But there are so many positive things that happen in our lives on a daily basis that we don’t see because we are closed and look to complain about everything. We don’t need more misery in our lives. So although we don’t think we’re contributing to it by being ‘realistic’ or whatever you want to call it we all are. Sorry to break it to you. Of course this isn’t full-proof; just looking and talking of things more positively won’t stop bad things happening; it is just a matter of mind-set. If you talk more positively ((to yourself or out loud) about the things you want you are more likely to receive them. I have no evidence to back this up except when my brother, my parents and I went to the hospital and were told what our disability is! If that’s not proof that positive thinking can do wonders then I don’t know what is. Of course, a lot of science research was used and all that sort of stuff so my positive thinking was not the reason but it certainly helped. Try to see the best in situations, instead of always turning to the ‘Why me’ mode. And if things do go wrong, just think of all the lessons you have learnt from it. I know it’s hard to stop slipping into the natural humanistic complaining routine but it’s the big mistake that most people make. Why have you heard of the people you have heard of? Because they rolled the punches, they took life as it is.
This is not full-proof. Sometimes things do need to go wrong to remind you of how much you are loved, how much you are worth etc. It's time to look in a positive light when things go wrong. I've had a few bad relationships in the past and every time they have taught me I don't need people like that in my life. I can be strong without, and it wasn't really fair on me holding both of us up to the light. Think of the weight(!) and the energy that was draining from my life!
Hope this helps,