Saturday, 31 December 2016

Happy New Year!

I hope this is a really fabulous year for you
Christmas was amazing as always, I hope yours was good too.
I got a load of books which means I'll have a very readicillious year!

I hope this year is incredible for you
You deserve it to be
Always remember you get to decide how you feel
And if you don't like how you feel change it
Even a little change can have a massive effect



Wednesday, 21 December 2016


This is a standalone I've wanted to publish on here for quite a while but was lost in my piles of papers! Anyway I wrote this when I was 16 and it has never really left me. I hope you enjoy it.

Sarah and Danny had been friends for a long time. They were really close. One night they ended up watching a romantic film with Kieren and his girlfriend. At the end of the film Kieren and his girlfriend start making out and leave Danny and Sarah sitting there uncomfortably. They glance at each other -  but neither of them can tell what's on each other's minds. Danny's palms begin to sweat - he can't bear this silence. 'So yeah, we're going to head off!' he exclaimed as he got up and walked to the door. Sarah got up too and departed through the same door. Danny was waiting outside in the hall for her.

'You'd better take this!' he says slipping off his jacket. It is thrashing with rain outside.

'Are you sure you'll be OK?' Saran asks. Danny laughs.

'Hey am I a man or a mouse?' he told her with a cheeky grin.

'OK as long as you're sure!' Sarah exclaims draping his jacket over her shoulders. She lifts up the hood on his jacket and prepares to open the door. Danny just looks at her. She looks so cute with that hood pulled up, wearing a jacket that's probably a few sizes too big for her. She giggles and he turns his attention to the rain.

'Right, here we go!' Danny laughs as he opens the door and dashes outside. He waits in the rain for Sarah to catch up with him. When she catches up, he says goodbye. 'Bye darling, see you tomorrow,' and scurries into his house. She watches him enter his house and then bursts into tears. He didn't know he wouldn't see her tomorrow. She wonders if he's been into his bedroom yet and seen the note waiting on his bedside cabinet.

Tonight had broken her heart. Especially watching the film and not being able to curl her fingers over his. It's as if he'd known and he just wanted to break it some more. He had been such a sweetheart tonight. Why did he want to break her heart? The note on his bedside cabinet reveals the truth of her feelings towards him. That yes, she would die for him and that yes, he makes her life complete. But what makes her think he'd even care? Never in a million years. She doesn't know why she did it, she just had to get the words out somehow. So she wrote him a letter, hoping he would try to make her stop, all the while knowing he never would.

She's getting soaked standing in the rain, even though she was wearing Danny's jacket. She didn't even know if it was her teardrops or the rainfall making her face wet anymore. She stands there motionlessly waiting for something. She soon realises than it won't come and so goes up to Danny's door. She is tempted to knock on the door and get one last hug but she knows what she must do. She slowly removes the jacket, folds it and put it on Danny's doorstep. She walks back to her house totally exposed to the rain but she doesn't care. She unlocks her door and grabs the bags she packed earlier. She takes one last look at her house - in its bare state. She weeps a little as she makes her way to the train station.

Every torch that's shone around her she looks up hopefully. But it's not him. She doubts he's even read it yet. And she bets he won't care when he does. Yes, he's losing a close friend but that wouldn't mean much to him. He has other friends anyway.
She loved him all her life and isn't about to stop, but she thinks if she put some distance between herself and he, she might finally be able to move on. The train comes and as she boards she whispers 'My heart will always be with you.' When the train starts to move, she gives up any hope that he would come and tell her she was being silly. She looks out as the train departs the station and for a brief moment catches a glimpse of his face but it's only because he was on her mind surely?

Thank you for reading



Wednesday, 14 December 2016


I honestly feel like I'm a fledgling bird, waiting to be freed and I'm at the point where things are not happening fast enough if at all. I am a fledgling bird without a sky at the moment. It feels like I'm fledgling and I just want to be free but someone or something is always clipping my wings. I feel ready to go, like I'm on the runway but everywhere I turn says delay delay delay. I just want to get my life started! 

It just hasn't been my time YET. 

Yet is one of my magic words because it can stand for so much. 

I don't know what love feels like, because I haven't been in it yet. 

That makes me feel better. Just adding the word 'yet' to any emotion or place in the world that you want to get to. I'm not there yet but I have the potential to be. 



Wednesday, 7 December 2016

It's December!

Where has this year gone? Time is just passing way too fast!

I caught a cold this time last week so apologies for not uploading! I was feeling down on Monday, so to make myself feel more like me I took a look in my feel-better box!

It's just a box of memories. It's bigger than a shoebox but a shoebox can work just as well. I have messages from old friends in there that just spur me on. Sometimes I can't believe that I had the nerve to ask people what I did but looking back they were great times. I still can't believe the faith that most of my friends seemed to have in me!

I sent an email out when I was 16 asking people what they thought of: who I was, who I am now and who I will be.

I would never be as brave as to ask that now! I tend to just take every day as it comes and see every obstacle as an opportunity.

I got some amazing responses and I love and treasure them in my feel-good box! I hope you are inspired to make your own box and then when you're down you can take it out and feel better. You don't have to be as brazen as I was at 16! It can be anything you like, perhaps a colour perhaps a picture perhaps words.