Sunday, 23 February 2014

How To: Be Positive When You Feel Hopeless

Life is unpredictable. That’s the way it is. Something that’s hurting you today physically, emotionally or mentally may disappear tomorrow. I always hold tight to this hope. Tomorrow you might be able to find a way out of the prison cell you’ve somehow locked yourself in. It might get better but it might not. The choice is yours. A lot of what happens to us is pre-determined by our expectations of a situation. So it’s worth believing that it will get better for that reason if no other. It’s often regrets that trap us in prison cells. Regrets from the past can be a real downer. You should listen when I say, if it was meant to happen it would have. And someday you’ll probably be grateful it didn’t or did.

But how do you make sure you have no regrets for the future, I hear you ask. You have to take chances when they’re there. That’s very easy for me to say, but I believe it’s true. At uni I used to take them all the time. For instance there was one night when I ended up at a club with just a hoodie on. And for other regrets, when I was younger or unable to do something for whatever reason, came to a head on a day in my teenage years. There’s nothing I can do to change the way I acted or what happened, so why the hell was I beating myself up for it? So I let go of it. All of that built up angst, and it felt like a weight off my shoulders when I let it go. With all the strength I have built up since, I don’t think I could carry those along with me, even now. I now have no regrets to recall. Dangerous to say, but true. I used to regret letting boys in, but if I hadn’t I wouldn’t be who I am today. They made me stronger than I would have been without them. I’m happy if I make mistakes now, because I know whatever lesson I have to learn it will teach me and it’ll make me better.

 Everything in life happens for you to somehow self-improve. Nothing in life is against you and as soon as you realise this you will feel better about yourself and the things that happen. The things that happen are to test your character and you go through rough patches to appreciate when things are going right. How quickly they can swap places is not in your control. But you are in control of your mind set and you can either see it as just another bad day or a chance to prove yourself. I always try to opt for the latter no matter what I face.

*I was going through a really hard time last week which is why I didn't sign off with my usual ditty!

Now I am going into hospital to have an operation tomorrow (the operation I've been waiting since last April to have.) I am quite excited by the prospect and when my friends realised they have said some really inspiring stuff to keep me going! So thank you for that. So I don't know whether I will be able to get a Motivational Monday up in time, but that is my aim! I have already filmed it so it's just a case of putting it up for you to see. Please comment my last video if you liked it and would like to see me do more. Thank you for reading,



Wednesday, 19 February 2014

'Brighter Tomorrow'

This lyric I wrote quite a while ago. I think way too many people focus on the past when it comes to relationships or otherwise. It's only the future we have control over, the past has been and gone and there's nothing we can do to change it. We can only learn and try not to repeat mistakes. Just because that is how something worked out last time, it doesn't mean it will this time. Go into situations optimistically and though it may not work out, at least you will feel better about it. If you go into a situation negatively, chances are it won't work out and you will feel bad that it didn't work out.


I wanted to hold onto the memory

Of you loving me

But yesterday has come and gone

It’s time to sing a new song

Cos you’re not worth it

We were only picture perfect

You’re not worth the tears I cry

You are not worth this painful goodbye



But I’ll give it to you

If you want the tears to prove

How mad I was in love with you

I will let it show

No time to regret tears on my pillow

I’ve got my sights set on a brighter tomorrow



I wanted to recall the happy times

When your love was mine

But I cannot find any

Maybe it’s cos you never loved me

Cos you are not worth it

Wandered around thinking you were perfect

You’re not worth the shadows in my mind

You are not worth this life of mine

(Repeat Chorus)


Baby I’ll give you what you want

You wanna see me fall

Look at what you got

I hope it satisfies you

To see a girl so downhearted and blue

Cos I’ll give it to you

If you want the, the tears to prove

That I really loved you

I will let it show

No time to waste regretting tears on my pillow

Cos I’ve got my sights set

For a brighter

A brighter tomorrow.


Sunday, 16 February 2014

How To: Be Ok When Things Don't Happen Or Go As Planned

The changes you go through will change you for the better. It may not seem like they are at the time, but they are only happening to make you stronger or wiser. I bet someday you’ll look back at this time and think: it only happened to make me into who I am today. And why would you want to be different? Sure, you might have wanted other things to happen, but that’s the past and it’s pointless regretting something that never happened. Things happen for a reason. Whether you know the reason right now or the reason is clouded for the moment, you will find that there’s a good reason why some things happen and some don’t.

An example of this comes from my university days. A boy who will remain unnamed and I hooked up, and we were meant to hook up again but it didn’t happen. I’m so grateful it didn’t actually, because that would have made it much harder to get over him. As it was, it only took a few weeks for me to move on but it felt like a lifetime at the time. It was horrendous at the time, but I’m so grateful that I have gotten over him! We were meant to sleep together the next time, so I’m thankful it never happened, think of how hard that would’ve made it to get over him! 

Although at the time you might want it, there’s a good reason if it doesn’t. As in my example, it would’ve made the coming times harder. It’s not always clear, it certainly wasn’t at the time of my example, but it makes sense now. So maybe you’re just riding out something you’ll be thankful for in the future. It won’t be easy but if you wait a situation out, it will make sense.

Wednesday, 12 February 2014

'Love Rat'

This was a lyric I wrote in my second year at university when I was trying to get over someone. It did help. Anyway, hope you like it and maybe can apply it to someone who you need to get over.




I know what it’s like to be in love like that

To be in love with a love rat

He appears in your dreams

So effortlessly

So unexpectedly



You, you are a love rat

How dare you make me feel like that?

Gave all my heart and all you gave back

Was nothing at all you love rat



Stupid is what I am to feel that

Way for a love rat

But I didn’t know this was what you were

Until I uncovered the true picture

And saw you going off to her

(Repeat Chorus)


Love rat

I really didn’t deserve that

Now your name’s in a song

I don’t care if it puts you off

The radar

Cos everyone should know what you are

Love rat

I gave you everything I had

What did I do to deserve that?

I guess you’ll never change your ways

A love rat is how you’re bound to stay.


Copyright © 2011 Stephanie Carfrae. All Rights Reserved.


Thanks for reading. Remember if you have any questions or comments about anything I write I'd love  to know. Either leave them in a comment below, tweet me (@steph_carfrae) or email me @ . Thank you. I really hope I help people with the How-To Sundays (all I can do for now is hope as I don't know). If you'd like to have a go at putting music t this, please comment or email me 
ThanK you very much for reading,


Sunday, 9 February 2014

How To Keep Your Head Up!

Keep your head up; only you know what you are going through. Words can’t sometimes express the way you are feeling. So while other people can help you get by, they can never know what is going on in your head.

You are the strongest person you know. Without doubt.

Everybody has different strengths. So don’t feel weak if you come across an obstacle you can’t hurdle, just take it in small chunks and someday you’ll be looking back thinking how did I get here? And other people can only give you suggestions to you about how to live or how to dress etc. but please remember that they are only suggestions as they can never know what it is like to be you. No one else has been in your shoes. We are all strong people. Maybe for different reasons.

You are not who you were yesterday. All the mistakes that you made yesterday or in days previous should be forgotten. You are not your mistakes. This is a brand new day, a new dawn and you don’t deserve to be held back by past mistakes and/or things you think you can’t do. Give it a go because you never know.

Pluck up the courage to ask that question, or be brave enough to speak. I could continue all day with these but I think you get where I’m going. Be courageous enough to say ‘Hold on: this is my life’ in your head. ‘No one is going to live it for me. If I want things to happen, I will go and make them happen, instead of sitting around wondering why not now?’ Life is a one-time experience. Live yours to the fullest.

That’s what most people waste their lives doing. They think they’re not good enough to do something or go somewhere, whatever it may be. But I’m going to share a secret with you, that YOU ARE worth it. So follow your dreams, no matter how long it takes (it’ll be frustrating sometimes but you’ve just got to ride it out to see the sunshine) and don’t give up.

*Hope it helps, let me know!

Thanks for reading,


Wednesday, 5 February 2014

'Only You'

This is a romantic lyric that I actually wrote at school! All those years ago! I think it was an imagined scene at the time, which played out before my eyes quite a few times sadly. I really hope you like it and find it relatable! Please let me know in the comments below

(if you don't have a google+ account you can sign up for one here: Now you can comment on my blogs and my videos!)
You can catch part 1 of The Story Of Steph here:
The Story Of Steph Part 2 went up today:
And you can view the others too! Be sure to like them and comment them! Thank you!

Anyway, the lyric this week is called:




My hopes and dreams are on a knife edge

She walks in the room and you forget

That I am even here

No point in crying tears

You won’t even notice

She don’t even care

Looks right through you like you’re not even there

I try concentrating on my work

But the pain is searing and starting to hurt

You don’t even notice



This is tearing me apart

These feelings that I have in my heart

For you ooh yeah only you

This is tearing me down

Shredding me to the ground

I know I shouldn’t but I do

Have feelings for you only you



My fears and nightmares are coming true

Cos staring at her is all you seem able to do

Look at me remember who I am?

The one who really cares about you shake my hand

You’ve played a good game

Can’t believe you’re gonna throw this away

But I guess it’s your choice

You don’t choose the sound of my voice

You’d rather chase after something

You’re never gonna win

(Repeat Chorus)


And if you could see me

In the way I want you to

They’d be no crying baby

No tears on my pillow tonight

But you’re tearing me apart

These feelings that I have in my heart

For you I know you wouldn’t like me to

You’re tearing me down

Shredding me right to the ground

I know oh I know I shouldn’t but I do

Have feelings for you

Only you



Copyright © 2010 Stephanie Carfrae. All Rights Reserved.

If you'd like to have a go at putting music to this, be my guest! If ever you record it or would like to play it in public please email me at:

Thank you for reading,

Sunday, 2 February 2014

How To: Not Waste Opportunities

I’m never one for passing up an opportunity. It was easier at university to just throw caution to the wind as while I was there I lived without all the rules and regulations of modern society. At the moment I can’t get out of my house, but that’s another story, so I guess I am letting opportunities slip past me at the moment. But I am using my time to get on with writing my idea of a story, so the time is not going to waste. What I can do, while it may not seem like much, I am doing. So if, like me, you don’t want to look back on a wardrobe full of wasted opportunities here are a few tips.

1.       Seize the one you’re in right now. It may seem pretty obvious but every day is an opportunity. It’s only determined by whether you look at it as an opportunity or just another day. The more you look at something in a particular way, the more natural it becomes. Give it a go, else you’ll never know.

2.       Don’t hold back. If you have an idea follow it. Try it, the only one holding you back is you.

3.       Just go with the flow. When I was at university I was told that my hall mates were going out and they’d bought me a ticket and so I ended up in Oceana in just a hoodie.

4.       Admit that they’ll likely never come again. If that isn’t stimulus to make something happen I don’t know what is!

Don’t suffer from wasted opportunities. Follow these four steps to  a happier you.
*Hope this helps! If you have any suggestions for 'How-Tos' I could write, you can leave it in  the comments or please email me at:
Thank you and thanks for reading,