Sunday, 20 April 2014

How To: Be Ok Without A Relationship

I don’t need… a boy
I got this in a comment about a year ago and it’s just been playing on my mind to write a post about. The woman who suggested it has probably stopped reading my blogs by now but nevertheless…

You are strong enough. No question about it. Either in or out of a relationship. Life doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle. We often surprise ourselves with our strength. And in a year or a few months, you can look back and laugh ‘I didn’t think I had it in me!’ So don’t give up, even if you don’t believe you can take it. We really can surprise ourselves. And don’t you want to be able to say ‘I’ve had difficulties. But I got through them!’

 It’s hard to do on your own though. Knowing that you have no one to go to other than your parents and friends, for support. It’s easy to feel isolated or that no one understands. The thing is you can feel like that in a relationship too. And in some circumstances, it is worse to be in a relationship when you are feeling this way. You have to learn to be Ok with yourself before going into a relationship ideally. Where you can look yourself in the mirror, say ‘This is me’; accept the imperfections and insecurities that make you you. There is never going to be another you. Others may attempt to look like you or the like, but there’s only one you. With your taste in music, film, theatre etc..

Someday someone is going to love that about you and your little quirks. I used to believe I was the only single person out there. I’m just no one’s type, I’m not lovable. Now I laugh at these distorted views. Of course I wasn’t the only one, and thinking that I was no one’s type left me thinking did I really think I was that special? That NO ONE in the world could find me in their heart? That certainly would make me one of a kind, and I’m not. I was just like everybody else. I still am. That doesn’t change.

You shouldn’t rely on someone else for strength. Because it’s not easy to recover from when/if they go away. They are there for support/shoulders to cry on if and when needed. You need to grow into yourself. No one can do that for you. No matter how much they wish they were facing the problem rather than you, they can’t. You need to learn to be strong on your own. For some, this may come easier as they’ve always had a partner to rely upon and for others it may be harder; you may be alone and it may feel like you’re fighting a losing battle but it will get better and you will find someone. You’ve just got to keep the faith.
You are not alone! I know you're probably sick of hearing me say it but it's so true. There are hundreds - billions - of singleton's out there getting on with their lives. You are not the only one. You should never feel that you are.

Hope this has helped.

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