Wednesday, 9 October 2013

The Truth


‘Downplaying a tough reality is unfair to us.  It’s confusing to our insides.  And it takes away any opportunity for genuine connection, helpfulness, understanding, relationship and CHANGE.’ – Marianne Richmond.

 

Due to an undiagnosed disability I am left in a wheelchair. I find it Ok that I can’t do some stuff. It is hard to accept but I’m thankful for the things I can do and nowadays anything’s possible. I always feel like I’m putting a lot of pressure on my family etc. whenever I ask to go anywhere because it takes a lot of time, planning and effort on their part. It really means a lot to me and I am thankful every day that they’re there for me when and if I need them. I don’t mind going through hard times – like my legs misbehaving (as they do a lot  lately – waking me up at night and such things) because I know they have to get better – although from time to time I do get cynical. I didn’t want to flag up my disability before – because well, I didn’t want anyone to feel bad for me. Because I’m not different from anybody. We’ve all got dramas going on in our lives. This is real life. Not a movie set. We’ve got to be happy with what we’ve been given. I didn’t see point in telling people on here until it was relevant. I’ve just been away to Zandvoort with my brother and I was convinced that the time was right. My life is challenging every day, but isn’t everybody’s? There I go again, making everything general. I guess I’m a little shy when talking about myself. You wouldn’t think it, I know some people who know me would be thinking right now, but that’s the only explanation I can conjure. If you’ve got another, feel free to email me (stephcarfrae@yahoo.co.uk ), tweet me (@steph_carfrae) or leave a comment below!

                It was a great trip and I really learned a lot about myself in a short space of time. I was confident to do more on my own – a sign (surely) that I’m growing up! Reading the top quote the day I got back I decided to write this as it is unfair to YOU not to know the truth and I don’t know what good I thought hiding this would do. I guess I only wanted people to know if they had to or knew me already. It’s different when I’m writing, because I can pretend that this isn’t happening to me and get lost in my character’s little world or mind. I am so thankful when people accept me the way I am for who I am because it means they don’t see my disability as an obstacle.

                I hope you want to know me and see how I attempt to fly.

                Thank you for reading, and if you have any comments, questions, suggestions for Room 101 or want a ‘lyric your name’ please email me at stephcarfrae@yahoo.co.uk , tweet me @steph_carfrae or leave me a comment below.

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