Everyone is going through situations. And they are all different.
'It seemed not so much distant as unreal.'
That defines a situation that is happening yet you are not involved in it.
It is a quote from 'Where My Heart Used To Beat' by Sebastian Faulks.
It is hard when you are not involved, to have an opinion of the situation, as you don't know everything. That's why I don't think judgements are good to make on first appearances.
Everyone has different reasons for decisions that they make.
And every situation is so different.
What occurs to anyone else you don't have a clue.
Try not to judge.
Situations are so different to everybody and depend on your perspective.