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Wednesday, 5 May 2021

Please Remember

 It is so easy to get caught up in other people's drama, to stress over nothing, lose yourself in all the confusion and forget who you are. That was me this morning! 

Please remember the smiles that are there because you are too. You are so important. You get to decide how you want to feel and what priorities you want to make. 

I don't understand too much but I am willing to learn. And that is my main point. If you're unwilling to try something different than I guess you'll never know. But I like rule breaking and being able to say what is on my mind. 

Thursday, 30 July 2020

Every Possibility

Every possibility is open to me.

I just have to be open to seeing it that way.

I wasn't bad. I know bouts of depression can be much worse.

But talking about things help.

And it can alleviate pressure build up.

Communication is key.

I'm open to learning.

It's true, I lost my anchoring in life for a while but I am back now, ready to face the curveballs life can throw with positivity, confidence and assertiveness.

I must always wear my CAP. C for confidence
A for Assertiveness
P for positivity.

Sunday, 14 June 2020

I have a problem

I have gotten into a habit of always looking down on myself. I need to change this. Start looking at things as opportunities rather than a have to. I need to let my incredible light shine out of me. It doesn’t matter what rate other people go at, it is not mine and that is ok. If they get praised for it, let them. Don’t let yourself be disgruntled. If someone is hotter than you, let them be. Start asking what is the opportunity in this and what can I learn from this? I have a perfect life. I think I often don’t recognise   this. And I really need to start.

Saturday, 16 May 2020

Making Disability Accessible

So, I was furious reading this: https://www.cjr.org/the_feature/journalism-disability-beat.php because it is true, any mother would support their child in the  same way. It is lovely that she  got recognised for what she did, but really it's surely a mother's instinct? 

I totally understand that it might make people feel good but for someone  who has to go through the rigmarole of having a disability on a daily basis I get why it's newsworthy but it shouldn't be. If someone saw you struggling to comprehend something, they would help if they could, but that fact would not become newsworthy because of a disease you have or something.

Those were just my thoughts on the issue please leave  your own if you agree or disagree with me - I'd love to read them!



Wednesday, 13 May 2020

I've Lost My Pajaz For Life

In general. I'm lost I think I'm just totally overwhelmed by life. By how good it can be and how my life is now outstanding. Its totally unusual to have everything working out for me but it is and I know I should be grateful.

I truly am but I feel like I'm in a holding pen and its always tomorrow I will get unleashed into the world. 

Waiting until Olly goes and has his real life. Or that is what my mind keeps telling me. And  I need to stop it feeding me lies.

We are happy.

It's only my mind that wants to convince me I'm not.

I'm a star and it's my turn to shine, is something I have on a post it note on my mirror and I just need to believe that.

I am starting a journalism course in the next few weeks so if I post anything on here I will be learning.



Thursday, 30 April 2020

Being engaged in Covid 19 Lockdown!

I feel amazing to be writing this in spite of what is going on in thè rest of the world.

It’s just spectacular. I never thought this would happen to me. Never in my wildest dreams. And then he asked me. Olly, the most courageous, gorgeous man I have ever met.  It took my breath away. Honestly. I really didn’t expect it. We were going on a Northern Lights trip which was special enough...I was excited enough by that prospect - but Olly totally made my fantasies come true!

T here’s only one man who could have done that. So on the way home from seeing the Northern Lights which were amazing, but the majesty of being up in the stars was even better - he got up on the speaker at the front of the plane. I didn’t know what was going on - I had always hopef the day might come - but I never expected it so soon! We’re only 2 years 3 months in! I am the luckiest woman alive. We are perfect for each other. The whole trip faded into.a backdrop to ourr spectacular and incredible love story. I was proposed to in the stars - somewhere above Iceland and the Northhern Sea.

Our flight was one of the last to leave Gatwick and fly back there, which my baby thinks is genius to confuse Passport Control on the way oyut: ‘So  where did you arrive from?’

Tuesday, 9 July 2019

Moving In With Olly

I never thought I’d see the day I’d be out of my parents house. This feeling is spectacular and I hope it never fades away. Just the fact of not going back to them is a relief in itself but the fact that I have moved in with the love of my life makes it even better. IIIt’s just mega-exciting for us now. Everything has changed. And the flat is really easy for me to get around because it was a new build in 2016. It does have doors which I was worried about, but as long as those are open they are easy to steer through. They are nice big doorways for me to get through. I honestly thought I’d be with my parents until one of them popped their clogs and I’m just so thankful that Olly is there to save the day. Well, save my day. 

It is difficult - we’re kind of living in a limbo stage at the moment. 

We are having to camp out on the sofa bed that his parents bought us because the spring in his bed has come out and given him a nasty gash. It was lucky we were bought a sofa bed! At least we know it’s comfy when we have guests round to stay!

I’m just getting through the days in a bit of a daze because I can’t believe this is my life!

I feel like I’m gonna wake up in a minute and find this has all been a sensational dream. Honestly, that is how it feels. 

We have bought a bed - which is coming on the 15th. It is an iron frame which will make it easy for me to grab and help me get up. We got other bits and pieces for the flat. We’ve got until the 15th to sort what we can out. And if we don’t, we don’t. It’s not the end of the world. We’ve cleared some boxes and made as much progress as it’s possible to make and not tire us out. That is really important. We need to relax too. I think we’ve got a good balance at the moment. Beyond eight o’clock we start to close down shop at the moment. But we’re so busy unpacking and getting sorted that by the time it gets to being any later we’re beat.

This is just unbelievable to be happening in my life. I honestly can't believe this is happening to me. This is all such a dream and I'm with my perfect partner. He's so brilliant - and I am so lucky to be with him. He is so understanding and he's just what I need. I don't deserve him and that is the truth. I am just so thankful and I love him so much. I owe him so much.

It's so exciting I'm overwhelmed a lot of the time that I can't even speak!

It's just so good my life right now.

This is so unbelievable. I cannot fathom the words to explain how dream like this feels. Right. Now. It's just incredible. Take the best feeling in the world and times it by ten and that might get you close to how I'm feeling right now. This is crazy. Olly has changed my life. I am so much stronger because of Olly. I'm a better person. I love him so deeply with everything I have. 

Don't get me wrong I do love my parents and they have done more than words can ever express for me  but now is time for my adventure!