How To: Get A Better Attitude

Everything in life is a choice.  You have made the choice to read this because you are interested in how I did it or want to know if I say anything that can inspire/help you. It comes down to changing those voices in your head. I was brought up with a rather pessimistic view on life which I have now lifted and changed. It takes years to do. It’s not easy but if you want it/need it bad enough it’s possible. I think everyone needs a little of optimism in their lives.

As I have mentioned, I have feel-good quotes everywhere so that has helped immensely in this process. They’re good to have, because you never know when you’ll need them, when you’ll wake up and not want to carry on but be inspired to keep going by one of those ideas or thoughts.

Something I learned towards the end of last year is that putting off things is never good. I always ask myself: ‘What if I couldn’t do that? Ever again?’ And that makes me get on with the task at hand. I don’t know if these words scare you as much as they scare me, but if it was never possible to me again, at least I’ve done it. Life is not secure. You never know what could happen. So I intend to not put things off. If I can do them now, I’ll do them now.

You need to know that everything is changing, just like the cells of your body change yearly. So you’re not the same person you were a year or two ago, you are endlessly going through inevitable changes. Everything is changing, even if you go through the same routine every day you will find different barriers overhanging something. So though it may look the same, or feel the same, it’s not going to be the same. One thing that has always helped me is thinking that nothing will ever be like this again, so I appreciate what I can from a particular moment. Even if I do it every day, I make sure I gain from the experience. It’s like thoughts in the night: you know you probably won’t remember it in the morning so it’s your choice to get out of bed and write it down or just let it slide. I used to think that if it’s so inspired it will come back in the morning, but it hardly ever did. So I never go to bed without a pen and notepad within reach.

Another thing I do is I have messages from my friends which I found inspiring or heartfelt in a book by my bed. Either handwritten or printed out – it really doesn’t matter. I really admire my friends and it always makes me feel better. I read it sometimes just because, or when I’m having a rotten day it just lifts me up and makes me feel better. I know these people care about me because they’ve taken time to write me an email or actually handwritten something. It reinstates my faith in life.

Steph

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Wish You Were Here!

This is a lyric I wrote in Malta when I was 16! Hope you like it!

 

It’s called: WISH YOU WERE HERE

 

Outro:

I’m wishing, hoping, dreaming

Hoping, wishing, dreaming

 

V1:

What will it take?

For you to see this is making my heart ache

Being away from you

Is just about the toughest thing to do

 

Bridge:

This is the last time I’ll cry away from you

This is the last time I won’t know what to do

 

Chorus:

Dreaming of you

Wishing you were here too

Hoping somehow I’ll find you

Knowing you’re gone

For me this heart ache will go on and on

Hoping you hear this song

And maybe you shed a tear

For knowing I wish you were here

 

V2:

What will happen to me?

If you don’t see what you’re doing to me

You’re driving me mad crazy

Don’t let it scare you baby

(Repeat Bridge)

(Repeat Chorus)

M8:

I wish you were here

Right here right now

I’d know what to do somehow

I know I’ll find you wherever you are

I’ll just follow that Northern star

Follow my heart

To you

(Repeat Bridge)

(Repeat Chorus)

Oh whoa

Wishing, hoping, dreaming

You were here.

 

Copyright © 2010 Stephanie Carfrae. All Rights Reserved.

 

Ooh also, I nearly forgot  to mention my 2nd video is up on youtube! Check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EoCgTL1XGT0

 

Steph

 

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How To: Accept Yourself And Everything Else!

Nothing is going to change, unless you do. You need to accept that. I am currently stuck in my home, but I know this is only a temporary expenditure of my time, and soon I will be out, and I tell you, the world better be ready! I am thinking I may need to get lessons in social circumstances again, but I was told at a party recently that I still seemed pretty able to be social!

You need to let go of past mistakes and the past in general. It’s happened – there’s nothing you can do to change it – and why would you want to? It’s made you into this beautiful, strong person you are today. Don’t blame the past – because yes horrific things may have happened – but if you keep looking back you’ll miss out on where you are now. And ‘if only’ and ‘would have’, ‘should have’ or ‘could have’s are a waste of your energy that could potentially be spent making sure you don’t have any more ‘if only’s. So don’t waste anymore of your time in the past, you are here now and it’s the future you have control of. All your flaws – and we all have them – can’t be changed, can only made stronger by you getting to know how to use and control them to your advantage.

Let me take you back to the mirror. You know you can’t change your outward appearance (unless you’re super-rich) so all you can do is emphasis the best bits of your face whether that’s your smile or your eyes.  Try to make them the focus. The first thing people will see and remember you for! I went through a phase of Marilyn Monroe red lips that I have calmed down now, but at the time I made my lips the remembering feature on my face. Now I’m going back to my eyes.

I’m now ready to wipe away everything that happened in the past. I’m finally ready to accept that nothing happened in past relationships and it was mostly my fault every time. I know what I have done wrong in the past and am going to try my best to not repeat them. Past mistakes are only good if you can grow from them. That’s all they should be on your mind for. The past has been and gone, it’s only the future you have control over. Don’t waste it by looking back. You’re not going backwards in life, so stop looking there. It will get you nowhere.

 

Steph

 

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Nothing To Say

 

Today I had the odd sensation of waking up to my own voice! It was pretty weird! My youtube channel was born yesterday: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_v8LgT4UJ8g thanks if you check it out! Don’t fear asking me anything, as I put in the comment, I have even answered ‘How do you have a shower?’ when I was younger, so I’m used to weird questions!

‘Nothing To Say’ is the first song I wrote at uni four years ago. Whoa has it really been that long? It feels like yesterday. I remember having to go into the kitchen and show it to people almost instantly. Maybe I wanted to. I can’t  remember now.

 ’ve heard that artists feel things differently to ‘normal’ people. Like how they convey a message in their songs. A big part is through the lyrics. So do you think it’s true for lyricists too? What if I feel things I wouldn’t otherwise, if I wasn’t trying to be a lyricist?

 Just a thought that’s bothered me for a while.

Anyway, here it is, I hope you like it, let me know!

It’s called: NOTHING TO SAY

 

V1:

I’m waiting in the cold

For somebody to give my heart a home

Cos I can’t hold onto the pieces anymore

Cos they’re falling and shattering on the floor

There are just so many pieces for me to cling to

I just need someone with a willing heart someone like you

 

Chorus:

My heart breaks

As you walk away

And as you go I can’t think o’ nothing to say

My heart beat shakes

As you approach gotta get away

But I can’t think o’ nothing to say

 

V2:

I’m waiting in the dark

For someone to return to me their heart

My heart smashes into a thousand pieces

Every day every time you look my way

Cos I don’t know if you feel it too

Am I dreaming that I could be in love with someone like you?

(Repeat Chorus)

M8:

My heart is fragile

You might have to wait here a while

Til I know what’s going on

You see with me the signals have to be strong

Cos every time I look in your eyes

This feeling overwhelms me like butterflies

(Repeat Chorus).

 

Copyright © 2010 Stephanie Carfrae. All Rights Reserved.

How To: Raise Your Opinion Of Yourself

I leave little post-it notes for myself to find with positive life-affirming quotes on them. It doesn’t seem like much. But I knew I’d have days when I had to reassure myself that life is worthwhile, and because it’s in my handwriting, I must have believed it on the day I wrote it. So that helps me to believe it when I read it.

Next step is to look in the mirror. Accept your imperfections. Which sounds easy – but isn’t – while you can use concealer to hide rashes or redness during the day – at the end of the day when it comes off, you still hate those bits about yourself. They are pieces of you and you should never be ashamed of that. If you didn’t have those imperfections, you wouldn’t be you and you would be no good at being anyone else. You are the best at being you, because no one knows the little turmoil you go through every day. No one else would be able to handle that. So please take one moment to look at yourself and be proud. Every human has an imperfection that they don’t to advertise, and just because yours is visible if it is, it’s not an excuse to feel bad about yourself. I, for instance, have really blotchy skin around my mouth, so when I go to apply a lipstick I have to be really careful.

So although everybody else may look perfect, there’s no saying how long the preparation to get to this point took them. Everybody hides something physically. Be it tiredness, a spot, a red mark etc. we all get them. Everybody has something that they don’t like about their outward appearance. And celebrities don’t always look that amazing; they are airbrushed to within an inch of their lives in photo shoots. And they always have their make-up artists on hand to touch up their make-up.

Going back to my idea of life-affirming quotations on stuff I use every day. I have one on the mirror in my room, a few on the mirror in my bathroom and a few dotted around on posters in my room. So I am always reminded, even unconsciously, of how special I am. And I don’t notice them anymore, they’ve become parts of my poster’s or mirrors. Someone asked me why I had them up there, and I really had to think about what they were asking about, because it’s become natural for me to see them there. These are just a few things that help me. I hope you have been inspired by what I have said. 

 

I hope this helps.

 

Steph

 

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Inspirational Five Minutes!

I was inspired by Carrie Hope Fletcher to do this! I think it's really beneficial!

 

 

The only one it missed off was

                                                              ©       Being Me!

 

Steph

 

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Happy New Year!!

I hope you're having an awesome start to 2014!!

I can't wait for this yea to get started...so many exciting things are happening - I'm going to get out of the house (I won't actually be out until after my 22nd birthday on the 10th Feb - Surrey County Council), I'm starting a job (once everything else is sorted - could be a long time) and hopefully will make friends outside of my family - my prison that I've been trapped in all my life.

It isn't a prison as such. I just feel it is. I've been tamed behind bars and it's time to release tem and unleash my potential on the world. It's so frustrating not being able to get out into the world - I have this to kep me occupied and books and DVDs but what happens when those run out? I'm so tired of fighting a battle and seeing no light at the end of the tunnel. I know I have to keep going and being strong but it is hard. And I know that everybody faces their own battles be it daily or once in a while, I'm in no way saying that my struggles are harder but it's just I feel like I'm a let-down to most people. I'm not saying this to make you feel sorry for me, that's the last thing I want, but I'm just telling you how I feel.

But everyone has something, I promise you. Something  that they hide or something that has transpired to work for them. Being a bit different and looking at it in a positive light instead of a negative one can do so much. If yon don't believe me, try it and prove me wrong. I didn't mean this to be anything but positive - look where I am now in comparison to last year! Sure, I was having more fun this time last year but I have now taken on new responsibilities which I couldn't have coped with last year. And I don't regret any one of them.

My support on here has also grown. This time last year I hadn't even written a proper blog let alone had readers. So, again my thanks go out to you sitting readin this right now. Without you, well, my life wouldn't be as beautiful as it is now.

 I hope everyone who reads this has a wonderful new year and hope all their wishes come true.

Steph

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