How To: Cope When You Feel Alone

It's very easy to feel ignored by family and friends. I've found that communication is key. No one can read your mind, they don't know what you need or want at a particular moment. That's why actions speak louder than thoughts/musings/ideas.

Feeling ignored was intensified for me when I was in hospital. The hospital I was at was a bad one (my brother and I have since been transferred to another hospital thankfully) and I mostly got through my stay through dreams and memories in my head. My family did come to see me most nights and that was really lovely and a relief to see a familiar face. I was horrible when I was in hospital though. I'm so lucky to have the family I do, to put up with me in a mood all the time; I wouldn't have, I would've scarpered and never come back. So thank you to all my family for putting up with me at that time. I must have been a nightmare.

I know it's very difficult to believe you're not alone when you think you are. I know that oh too well. Sometimes I feel left behind by events that go on in other people's lives and I'm left thinking, 'Why can't that happen to me?' And the simple truth is the timing isn't right. But that's not very easy or nice medicine to swallow. But you're not going to meet others or interact with anyone if you're curled up in your room feeling sorry for yourself. Obviously with the invention of the internet in the 21st century you are reachable at anytime - and it is hopefully less likely you feel alone. But I do know what it is like when you see all your friends online and you don't want to annoy them or bring them down with your troubles or issues. But I have learned that real friends won't mind. If you're feeling down about something please share it with someone - even if it's onomously on a website or something - you'll feel much better when it's out for the world or a close friend to devour and say 'no you're being silly' or the infamous 'everybody feels like that sometimes'.

You might have sent messages to one person and you can see they're online but they haven't replied. I know how annoying that is. I try to look at it like this: although they might not be able to reply instantly - they're busy, they have their own lives to worry about - and they will contact you when you need them. And that is true. Hard as it is to believe. I recently went through a little trouble with a guy and I messaged a guy friend of mine just to help me clear the fog that this other guy had thrown into the mix. Yet when I woke up the next day I could see clearly and it turned out I actually hadn't needed that help - which was good because he hadn't replied. It took me quite a while to learn not to message a boy I fancied every two seconds - actually this ended up with one of my many university crushes actually blocking me - but now I'm definetly more relaxed. If they are friends of yours - they will reply when they can - but please don't despair if it isn't instant.

Steph

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