You don't think you're what people want? Oh, that feelings so familiar. You think you're not what they need, and you could be totally right, but as the saying goes: don't judge a book by it's cover. What if people don't know what they want until you give it to them? What if they don't know what you have to offer because they've never been offered that before? You need to start believing in yourself (it's true, you need to start that before anything) because unless you believe in what you do, how is anyone else supposed to?
Who are you trying to impress? Everyone, I know the feeling. Once you learn that the only one you really need to impress is yourself, you'll be happier. And that's true of everything. Be happy for you. Do something right for you, not for someone else. Imagine yourself in the position of a customer if that is what your job entails, and do the best job you can do as you would for yourself if you were in their shoes.
Don't worry if or indeed when things go wrong. Life will mess up, it won't give you what you want but there will always be a deeper reason. Either you need to ask for help or the timing isn't right. I let some things get me down last week - and that's Ok - when you do that it's best to just go with them rather than let them eat you up on the inside - but the minute I started smilinng again and recognising the little things in my life that make me lucky to be who I am I felt calmer and a lot happier. And then I put my thoughts in the right order. The right time will come. However hard it is to convince yourself of that, I implore you to because everything will or has had it's moment in the sun and I know it's so hard to let things go but I just think: If it's not doing me, my family or friends any good anymore then why am I holding it? Like a scrunched up piece of paper that is superglued to your palm - it may hurt for a while but you need to just let it go.
All these thoughts from your critical/pessimistic side of your brain are not helping you if you let it have full control. Unfortunately we do not have an off or mute button for this part of evolution but we can make it quieter. And it is good sometimes. Like I took off and redid my mascara today 3 times because I was recording a video and it wasn't even - but other than that I hardly listen to it anymore. Don't let that side of your brain rule over your life. I know it's hard to shed some positive light when everything in your life feels like a drag - but just keep yourself busy - set up a blog or volunteer somewhere - just keep going because something will come around. Sadly in life, it is unpredictible when this will happen, but if you give it a chance I'm sure life has something amazing set for your future. You've just got to get there.
It is tiring and frustrating but please have some faith in life. Everything happens for a reason. Example - I haven't been able to get out of my house since last summer when I graduated (I can get out, it's just I always need someone with me) but that has been good for me. Although I didn't think it at the time, I have been able to help you wonderful people and I don't know if I was ready for the outside world before but having gotten to know myself fully - I now feel more prepared and possibly stronger for all the time that I have waited.
Thanks for reading,
Steph
XxX
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